(417): “Clean/organize my room day” turned into “Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day”
(517): There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
(502): Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn’t mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
(406): You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior
(207): If this outfit doesn’t get me pregnant tonight I don’t know what will…
(+44): I dunno. It’s not as good as ‘devourer of cocks’ but I suppose few things are.
(269): All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
(585): if by “adventure” you actually mean “getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs,” then yes.